Godzilla: King of the Monsters Review

“Oh my God…Zilla” is an actual line in a movie.

Godzilla (2014) is one of the most fiercely debated films of the decade. Gareth Edwards attempt to bring the Japanese icon to life left movie goers in 2 camps. One side believed that Edwards version was a masterclass in subtlety. Godzilla only appeared in 8 minutes of the film. A decision that led many to hate the film as they wanted to see big monsters and explosions. For the record I believe that Godzilla (2014) is a missed opportunity. Edward’s direction is flawless, and the lack of Godzilla could have worked if the central characters weren’t stale. The decision to (SPOILER ALERT) kill Bryan Cranston after half an hour to focus on Arron Taylor-Johnson’s generic army man was a crushing. Had there had been compelling humans in the film it easily could have become a classic. Godzilla: King of the Monsters arrives 5 years after is predecessor. This was my most anticipated film of the year by a large margin.  Kaiju beasts battling it out for 2 hours is a tantalising prospect. Hollywood would finally do right by Godzilla on the 3^rd attempt. It brings me great sadness to say that this is another misfire. Godzilla: King of the Monsters is everything wrong with summer blockbusters. Bring back Broderick.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters tells the story of the humans and Godzilla teaming up to fight the other Kaiju that have woken up around the world and are threatening to destroy it. This is the 35^th Godzilla movie making films longest running series. The series has been going on for so long because of how compelling Godzilla is. Why then would you decide to waste another film focusing on human characters? These aren’t just any human characters. These are characters that carry all the flaws of modern-day blockbusters. They talk for feels like an eternity as they try to make the nonsense plot make sense. They teleport when the plot needs them to. They stare at giant screens for an eternity. They make jokes to the silence of everyone in the cinema. They change alliances so the film can have a reason to continue. I’ve seen many people talking about how this is Godzilla’s film. I must have been watching the wrong movie. This is another Godzilla film that puts him in the backseat. Instead of giving fans a narrative that focuses on the Kaiju and their colossal battles. This film is more concerned with lifeless family drama and a ham-fisted attempt at making a stance on climate change. From its script to its direction everything is messy. The only positive takeaway from the film is the Kaiju battles. They serve as a reminder of the film you deserved. Godzilla: King of the Monsters makes Pacific Rim Uprising look like the finest monster film of the decade.

When you look at the cast of the film things become even more disappointing. From top to bottom this cast is exceptional.  Somehow the film finds a way to waste every single one of them.  Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga and Milly Bobby Brown play a family that was destroyed following the 2014 attack. Instead of allowing these talented actors to flesh their dramatic chops. They spend the run-time bickering over each other about a plot device called ‘The Ocra’. A plot device that can put the Kaiju into a peaceful stance to put an end to their fighting. They really should have used it on each other. Chandler is trying his best to bring his A game, but there’s only so much he can do with the script. Vera Farmiga plays a character whose motivations are so murky that you could spend years studying it and still not understand it. Milly Bobby Brown gives the best performance in the film, but she’s rarely used. It’s ironic that the most intelligent character in the film was a child. The rest of the crew don’t fare any better. Ken Watanabe returns to explain the plot and say ‘Godzilla’ as many times as he can. It’s as if director Michael Dougherty believed that his iconic delivery of the line would distract from the shambles on screen.  Sally Hawkins, who was apparently in the last film, returns to have absolutely nothing to do. Ziyi Zhang is reduced to a stereotype. Bradley Whitford and Thomas Middleditch are the comic reliefs with some of the worst material you’ll see on screen. Charles Dance is villain who rarely is in the film. O’Shea Jackson Jr. is reduced to yelling military lines that you’ve heard in a million other films. Each actor is a vessel for a drab character to live in. Have you noticed how I haven’t named any of them? I genuinely don’t know a single character’s name. In a film that spends so much time with the seemingly endless list of them this is a monstrous problem.

Godzilla is both king of the monsters and king of this movie. Anytime Godzilla in on screen it’s magical. From the moment he emerges from the ocean the film leaps in terms of quality. Visually speaking he’s never looked better. When his back lights up before an attack the excitement builds. His roar is still captivating after all these years. The other Kaiju, I refuse to refer to them as Titans like the film does, are also in on the action. Godzilla’s arch-rival Ghidorah leads to the film’s greatest sequences. Anytime the ancient foes clash you’re in for a treat. The 3 headed dragon is astonishing to feast your eyes on. Too may jokes are thrown its way that ruin its intimidating presence. Its hard to believe the humans fear it when they call it gonorrhoea and Larry, Curly and Moe. Without revealing too much about her I’m happy to confirm that Mothra is a highlight of the film. Rodan gets the short straw in terms of screen time, but the beautiful bird makes the most of it. The problem is once again that the humans take up the bulk of screen time. It ruins what would have been an astonishing film. To see these battles for the entirety of the run-time would have been perfect. Now many have said that humans are needed for a stronger narrative. Let’s be honest; you’re not going to a Godzilla film for the story. If John Wick can fill up 2 hours with fighting, then why can’t Godzilla? I left the cinema with a sour taste in my mouth because of the awful main characters. Godzilla needs to be the main character in his own film. I did not pay to see Kyle Chandler: King of the Mediocre.

One thing everyone can agree on about Godzilla (2014) is that the direction by Gareth Edwards was superb. The film is full of clever little directorial choices that make the film feel unique. Love it or hate it. It can’t be argued that film didn’t have a voice. This sequel however feels more like a sequel to Rampage. Director Michael Dougherty was certainly not my first choice when I thought of who should director the sequel. Dougherty is known for horror with his most viewed work coming from the forgettable Krampus and the underrated Trick ‘R Treat. Dougherty is out of his depth here. The direction is sloppy. There are odd zoom ins in the middle of fights that make little sense. The direction in the fight scenes is like the worst in WWE. It’s also hard to make out what is happening at times. One fight set in a blizzard is impossible to make out. Dougherty is an indie horror guy. This step was too much too soon for him. Cinematographer Lawrence Sher saves the director from complete embarrassment with beautiful images that could be hung up on your wall. It’s surprising that up until now Sher’s biggest films were The Hangover Trilogy. There are shots that amazed me in terms of creativity. The script did not do the same. Written by Dougherty and Zach Shields. These two wrote Krampus together which was filled with dodgy puns and jokes. The bad jokes hit you harder than any of the Kaiju could. The pauses when the film wants you to laugh is painful. When it’s not trying to make you laugh the script is failing at trying to make the story make any sense. It’s clear the Warner Brothers believes that they could go down the superhero route. Hiring indie horror guys worked for them. Why wouldn’t it work for Godzilla? It doesn’t work and it is painful.

Overall Godzilla: King of the Monsters is a crushing disappointment. The stars seemed to have aligned for this to be the Monsterverse movie that would be the cream of the crop. Sadly, it might be the worst one yet. The Kaiju have moments that will appease die hard fans. As a movie on a whole it achieves very little. It does make you wonder how stupid studios thinks its audiences are. I’m not willing to let small moments make up for the garbage that clunkers this film. It’s overlong, unfunny, makes little sense, and will make you roll your eyes every 5 minutes. It’s simply not good enough.  There is still hope for this series of films. There is another film coming next March. I won’t spoil what is it to those who don’t know. It needs to step things up. This iconic character does not deserve to be let down time and time again by Hollywood. After all it is the king.

Liam’s Summary of Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Best Moment: The final battle is what this film should have been.

Worst Moment: The 75% of screen time when no Kaiju is on screen.

Best Character: Godzilla is the king.

Worst Character: Vera Farmiga did not deserve this character.

Watch These Instead

King Kong (2005): Go back and watch this classic.

Pacific Rim: The last great monster movie.

Cloverfield: Humans can be good in monster movies!

Overall Rating: 1.5/5