Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Review

Wait you’re telling me I have to watch 3 more of these?

Harry Potter was to my childhood was what Star Wars was to kids growing up in the 70s. Between each film in school we would all come up with bonkers fan theories over what would happen next, for what it’s worth I still think Dobby being Harry’s dad would have been awesome. The films were all enjoyable and got everyone talking about the magic they witnessed. Getting to see characters grow up along you is such an enriching experience that I’ll always love the franchise for. Now, I’m not going to lie and say that I’ve read all the books a billion times and know the lore inside out. My secret shame is that I never finished reading the books (I got to about halfway through Goblet of Fire), I’m super scared people will attack me for my views on this film because I’m not the most knowledgeable fan. I haven’t revisited the series of films in about 2 or 3 years so I’ll probably re-watch them and rank them if people are interested! Now the Wizarding World prequel Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them didn’t pull me in like the films that came before it. It’s a film I’ve seen about 4 times and I still couldn’t tell you what even happened in it. The visuals in the film were tremendous but it was bogged down by having to tell an origin story about a lot of forgettable characters. Eddie Redmayne’s Newt Scamander was one of the most boring protagonists I ever seen in a blockbuster, so I wasn’t exactly fuelled with hope for the sequel. Fantastic Beats: The Crimes of Grindelwald bring in Jude Law as the iconic Dumbledore and controversially Johnny Depp as the titular villain. Does the sequel give life to the series or is this not as magical as we hoped?

Fantastic Beats: The Crimes of Grindelwald continues the story of Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) as he tries to stop the evil Grindelwald’s (Johnny Depp) plan to take over the world. The problem with the film is that this little summary isn’t what the film is about. This is a film with a lot of characters and even more subplots. Seriously look at the poster, there’s 16 characters on the poster. This isn’t an ensemble film. This is a film which has one min plot, which is linked to dozens of subplots. This wouldn’t be a problem if the film knew what it was doing but there are loads of instances in the film where everything stops for the characters to tell you what exactly Is happening. I’m sure that at least half an hour of a film is characters telling you the plot because it’s a confusing mess. One of the main plots of the film is the parentage of Credence Barebone (Ezra Miller), the character is seeking to find who is real family is. This could have been a great story if it was an actual mystery. A mystery shouldn’t be handled by having characters tell you long stories which treats the audience like idiots. The first rule of film making is show not tell. The cliff hangers left from the previous film are all dropped by having characters basically say, “ah that’s not important forget about it.”.  The film introduces new characters in nearly every scene and attempt to give them a subplot. Not many of them are fleshed out or explored at all. This is a boring film which drags itself across the finish line. The action scenes are kept to a minimum, Fantastic Beasts 2 wants to be a character study but when your characters aren’t interesting you have a problem.

Newt is still a side-character in his own film. This guy is no Harry Potter. Redmayne again tries to make the character quirky, bumble, awkward guy who we all love and care about. Instead Newt has as much personality as a plank of wood. The audience doesn’t know enough about him to root for him which makes the characters lack of actual personality a huge issue. Awkward mannerisms shouldn’t be who you centre your series around. New characters Dumbledore and Grindelwald are both more compelling than newt. Jude Law as Dumbledore is excellent, the actor has clearly done his study on the character which makes his performance feel real. Unfortunately, Dumbledore doesn’t get enough screen-time. Dumbledore is in about 10 minutes of the film in total; the sequel needs to switch the focus onto him because Newt as a lead is not working. There’s a reason why Harry was the lead and not Neville. Controversy aside, Depp gives a decent performance as Grindelwald. The actor doesn’t go fully ham like is s often prone to do. The opening action sequence is possibly the best part of the film. Any scene which features him wakes the audience up. The actor gives a performance that’s more Black Mass than Alice in Wonderland thankfully. Props to Dan Fogler as Jacob Kowalski who once again steals he film. Kowalski is hilarious as the guy who reacts to all the madness around him the same way anyone would. Kowalski is the only interesting character from the previous film and he’s even better this time around. Notice how I only mentioned 4 characters there when I said there were 16 in the poster??? I couldn’t tell you much about them because there not intriguing but let’s give a one sentence summary of all them a go.

·        Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne): If the bad qualities of Toby Maguires and Andrew Garfield’s Spidermen had a baby
·        Tina Goldstein (Katherine Goldstein): New haircut but I still don’t know what her deal is.
·        Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler): If New York was a person.
·        Queenie Goldstein (Allison Sudol): I’m convinced this Moaning Myrtles mum.
·        Credence Barebone (Ezra Miller): The actor is a cool dude, but his character has too much question mark face syndrome
·        Leta Lestrange (Zoe Kravitz): this character wouldn’t be a character without flashbacks.
·        Theseus Scamander (Callum Turner): Hey look it’s Percy Weasley!
·        Nagini (Claudia Kim): I know this person I’m sure they will have a story besides the film telling us who she is.
·        Yusuf Kama (William Nadylam): ummmm he’s French?
·        Abernathy (Kevin Guthrie): I’ve got nothing on this one.
·        Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law): I Spent a lot of the film wondering if Dumbledore eventually gets a hair transplant.
·        Grindelwald (Johnny Depp): Just remember that this guy was Colin Farrell, remember that?
·        Nicolas Flamel (Brontis Jodorowsky): this guy is 600 years old, that’s how I felt watching the film HAHAHAHAH.
·        Vinda Rosier (Poppy Corby-Trench): Grindelwald’s mate.
·        Beasts (CGI): If you’re looking where to find them always check Newts bag.

This might be remembered as the film were J.K. Rowling bought a little much into her own BS. As the writer of the script Rowling gets to make all the calls. Writing a film is very different to writing a book. With the Potter series the films had amazing material to work with, but these Fantastic Beasts scripts don’t seem to be working. They drab and dull. Both films are not going to be remembered, well this one will be for a ridiculous reason which I won’t get into because spoilers. Rowling seems to panic whenever she doesn’t know where the film s going and throw in an Easter egg. Some of these, work! The visit to Hogwarts is wonderful and ignites nostalgia. Writing Nagini into a character is a good idea on surface but when you give her nothing to do it’s pointless. Rowling needs to be careful because if the remaining films are duds than this could be the Star Wars prequel situation all over again. David Yates directs his 6^th Wizarding World film, and by far his worst direction yet. The film is weirdly dark in places and the camera angles he chooses at times are just odd. Yates is a solid director, but I don’t think those last few Potter films are remembered for the direction. The only film that he’s directed in between Potter films is The Legend of Tarzan, which is a shamble. I think tying him down to 3 more films before seeing his finished product may have been a mistake.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is a sluggish empty film. The film is beautiful with amazing special effects, wonderful costumes and terrific effort made by the hair and market team. Law and Depp use their experience to try and salvage something for audiences but it’s not enough. This sequel is boring. It’s a lot of filler but not enough killer. The Film’s called The Crimes of Grindelwald and I’m pretty sure he only commits 2 in the film. If you love people telling you everything you need to know than I’m sure, you’ll have fun, but this was not a good time. Hardcore Harry Potter fans let me know what I’m missing if you loved it! If you like me are bored of this series already it’s okay! Don’t worry. We’re not even halfway through yet.

Liam’s Summary of Fantastic Beats: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Best Moment: Going back to Hogwarts made me emotional.

Worst Moment: The ending is…. Something.

Best character: Kowalski is my favourite character and penguin of Madagascar.

Worst Character: Newt is as fun as the pronunciation of his name.

Overall rating: 2/5