Scoob! Review.

Who doesn’t love Scooby-Doo? Since 1969 the talking Great Dane has embedded himself into the hearts of the world. The concept of a lovable mutt solving mysteries with his group of friends is genius. It’s simple, but it works. At one time or another, we all imagined what it would be like to go on similar adventures with our friends and pets. Scooby-Doo while never leaving the zeitgeist hasn’t been seen on the big screen since the live-action Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed back in 2004. In the sixteen years since then, he’s been in twenty-six direct to video films and five TV shows; enough content to fill a streaming service. Warner Brothers have decided that it’s time to throw their reliable mascot back into the spotlight with a brand new animated feature in cinemas across the world!  Well, the cinema part can’t happen so video on demand will have to do. You’ll return to the big screen one day Scooby.

The marketing for Scoob sold audiences on the promise of seeing Scooby (Frank Welker), Shaggy (Will Forte), Fred (Zac Efron), Daphne (Amanda Seyfried) and Velma (Gina Rodriguez) transform from children to mystery solvers. The first trailer had Scooby say in his epic trailer voice “Discover the epic origin story of the greatest team of heroes in the history of mystery.”. Yet, that’s not what we get. We do see the gang meeting as children and solving their first mystery, but that segment of the film ends after merely eleven minutes. Eleven delightful minutes and the only fun part of the film. All the posters and cardboard cutouts in cinemas, before the pandemic, were of Scooby as a puppy. I get why they did this. After all the baby Groot and Baby Yoda hype, it’s a sure-fire way to make money and sell merchandise. It shouldn’t be what you use to sell your movie. When in reality Scoob is a superhero film. Yes, you read that correctly. I’m as disappointed as you are.

Following the childhood opening the film flashforwards ten years to the now established Mystery Inc. in LA. The gang is planning what to do next when Simon Cowell shows up to tell them that they need to get rid of Scooby and Shaggy. The plot of a film released in 2020 relies on a Simon Cowell cameo to kickstart the plot.  Scooby and Shaggy are recruited by their favourite superhero The Blue Falcon (Mark Wahlberg) to help him take down Dick Dastardly (Jason Isaacs) who is planning to unleash the ghost of Cerberus upon the world. It’s as confusing and complicated as it sounds. Who needs lighthearted mysteries when you can have Scooby and Shaggy flying in a spaceship with Marky Mark?

 I’ve said repeatedly in my reviews that you can’t start a cinematic universe in one film. Scoob is bizarrely used to try and kickstart a Hanna-Barbera cinematic universe.  Despite not having spent any time with this iteration of Mystery Incorporated the film presumes you’re up to date with the history of Scooby-Doo, throwing in characters from The Blue Falcon, The Wacky Races, Dynomutt, Dog Wonder, and Captain Caveman. I’m twenty-one years old and I’ve only seen The Wacky Races from that list. No child is going to be nostalgic over cartoons from the seventies. Just like The Mummy and Batman V Superman, Scoob wastes the majority of its running time trying to convince you to care about characters you’ve just met. Stories and characters need time to be fleshed out and carefully crafted over a period of several films. A Scooby-Doo movie is not the film where you should try to create a franchise based on old cartoons that only parents will remember. The one thing you need to get right is the gang and boy does this film fail miserably.

If there’s one thing the film succeeds in it’s Scooby and Shaggy’s friendship. The iconic Frank Welker is once again tremendous as Scooby. Welker has been involved with Scooby-Doo since the very first series aired having played Fred for decades. Following the death of Don Messick in 1997, Welker took over voicing Scooby. Thankfully he came back as I shiver at the prospect of a Hollywood star voicing him. Warner Brothers weren’t as kind in their treatment of Mathew Lillard who having played Shaggy in countless adaptions was dropped in favour of Will Forte. Regardless of Forte’s performance, the treatment of Lillard was disgraceful. The man spent sixteen years putting his heart and soul into the character only for the studio to dump him for a “bigger” name. Forte is fine. There’s nothing about his performance that feels anything more than an impersonation. Will Forte is playing Shaggy. Mathew Lillard is Shaggy. My disgust at Warner Brothers aside, Scooby and Shaggy’s arc is the one element of the film that’s heartfelt. It’s impossible to mess up. The love between a boy and a dog is immortal.

The rest of the gang are given nothing to do. Each character is given a trait rather than an arc. Fred is an airhead. Velma is the brains. Daphne is…. Well, Daphne isn’t given anything to do in the movie. Fred, Daphne, and Velma show up about five times throughout the film as they attempt to find Scooby and Shaggy. For the most part, they’re only there to move the plot along. The only thing I have in my notes is that at one point Fred and Blue Falcon are arguing and Velma yells “Toxic Masculinity”. I know there’s no point for that being in my review but there was no need for it to be in the movie either. The film’s other side character’s range on an irritation scale from slightly annoying to Mark Wahlberg. Our villain Dick Dastardly doesn’t add anything other than a surprising amount of dick jokes. Dynomutt (Ken Jeong) complains and moans anytime he speaks. Dee Dee Skyes (Kiersey Clemons) is a kickass pilot but isn’t given anything to do. Marky Mark as Blue Falcon is a party boy with daddy issues. Mark Wahlberg’s kryptonite has always been his funny voice. Only being able to hear him makes it that bit funnier. He also dabs.

Longtime servant of Hanna-Barbera Tony Cervone has been given control of his first theatrical release. Before Scoob Cervone had directed many Tom and Jerry, and Scooby-Doo straight to video movies. It’s impressive that the guy who directed Scooby-Doo! And Kiss: Rock and Roll Mystery has been allowed to work on a big Hollywood film. Cervone’s direction is non-existent, it’s not his fault. As mentioned before the film doesn’t know what it wants to be, how is he meant to know? There’s so much going on that Cervone would need a miracle to make sense of it all. What’s not surprising is that four people wrote the Scoob’s script. Between the four of them not one of them noticed how dated the film is. The references won’t make sense to anyone over the age of twelve. The film opens with California Love playing; a song that was released in 1996. The script is humourless. The jokes range from Fred not knowing you have to pay for Netflix to The Blue Falcon thinking that Tinder is a wood buying website. As for the plot; they made it up as they went along hoping that no one would notice. Whichever one of them decided that Scooby-Doo needed to be linked to the underworld is criminally insane.

I think it may be a blessing in disguise that Scoob didn’t get released to cinemas. The general public would hate this film. Both older and younger viewers will be bored out of their minds. It’s utterly joyless. As a diehard Scooby-Doo fan, I got nothing from this film. It left a horrible taste in my mouth. This was made without any passion for the cartoon. Warner Brothers want your money and nothing else. The animation is shoddy, the story makes no sense and they betrayed Mathew Lillard. Do yourself a favour and just watch the original series. Back then there was love and affection towards the characters and stories being created. Scoob is cinema at its lowest; heartless and conniving. Ruh-Roh indeed.