Alita: Battle Angel Review.

Bears, Beets, Battle Angel Galactica.

 

We all have dreams. My dream is to review movies until I make a name for myself in film journalism. The people behind the films we watch in cinema have dreams too. This can lead to some of cinemas greatest moments.  Scorsese almost went broke in his attempts to get Taxi Driver on screen following years of having his pitch turned down by studios. Tarantino worked on Inglorious Bastards for 10 years before releasing it. The director needed it to be perfect. Dream projects can turn int total disasters. Barry Levison spent years crating films such as Good Morning Vietnam and Rain Man for Hollywood to let him make his dream project. Levison’s dream project Toys destroyed his credibility after the film was hated by both fans and critics. Let’s not forget that George Lucas 80s vision was to make Howard the Duck. A film so bad it’s best that we pretend it never happened. The film in question today; Alita: Battle Angel is a dream project with a twist. Avatar and Titanic director James Cameron has been obsessed with Alita for the past 20 years. The world renown director attempts to bring the Japanese manga to screen had been so disastrous that he was ready to give up on his baby. Thankfully Robert Rodriguez decided to help his buddy out and direct Alita. Cameron gave Rodriguez responsibility of his baby.  Rodriguez armed with a screenplay and 600 pages of notes given to him by Cameron brings Alita to the big screen at last. Does Rodriguez make Cameron’s dream a reality? Or is this a nightmare that will haunt us.

Alita: Battle Angel tells the story of a young cyborg named Alita (Rosa Salazar) who goes on a journey to discover who she truly is while fighting the injustices of Iron City. Whether you love or loath Alita depends on your stance on anime. This is Hollywood’s most accurate depiction of why the world is obsessed with both manga and anime. Alita is full of vibrant colours, bonkers action and is paced at a speed which makes you feel that you need to have a seatbelt for your seat in the cinema. It’s taken a long time for Hollywood to give fans of this form of entertainment a product which isn’t a shell of what it’s based off. Ghost in the Shell was a lifeless film which escaped total hatred for its blandness because of the controversial casting of Scarlett Johansson. Dragonball Evolution may not only be one of the worst adaptations of a previous work but may also be one of the worst films ever. I’m not going to lie to you and claim to be the biggest anime/manga fan in the world. I can tell the difference between good and bad content. So, I can safely say the if you are a fan of the Alita manga then you will be pleasantly surprised. Hollywood hasn’t made another tone-deaf attempt of trying to recapture the magic of Japanese entertainment. Alita is a crazy journey from start to finish. It’s far from a perfect film but you have not seen anything like this before in Hollywood.

The plot of the film is messy. The story of recovering from memory loss has been done many times before. Alita’s attempts to discover herself is like nearly every take of this story that you’ve seen before. This theme is carried by Rosa Salazar’s performance. The actress is terrific at showing the contract between innocent girl to fearsome warrior. Salazar is exceptional in conveying both emotions. Alita’s CGI enhanced eyes have been a major talking point since we first seen her character. Many felt that the large eyes are far too distracting to put on your lead character. Thankfully, the design of the character is brilliant. The character was designed by Welta Digital. The visual effects company have created a character who is unlike any lead character ever seen on film. Salazar’s honest performance makes you forget that you’re watching a character who years ago it would have been impossible to put on screen. The main fault with Alita’s character is her dialogue. I’ll touch more on the screenplay later but some of the dialogue she comes out with is horrifically corny. Salazar elevates a weak script and story elements we’ve seen done to death. The rest of the cast have a far more mixed time than Salazar in striking gold.

The cast of Alita contains 3 previous Oscar winners. Unfortunately, every single one of them is wasted. Christoph Waltz has the most to do as Alita’s guardian Ido. Ido is written to be a complex character who’s hiding his backstory. Waltz makes the mistake of overacting. Which results in Ido coming off almost like a cartoon character. The mystery aspect of his character never works as Waltz attempts to be mysterious come off sort of like a pantomime character. The relationship between Ido and Alita never feels natural either. They are meant to be a father daughter type relationship, but you never feel that strong of a connection between the two. Jennifer Connelly is given a nothing role as Chiren. Connelly’s talented is wasted in a character who’s there to sprout fantasy science terms without laughing at how daft it sounds. Alita’s biggest crime is that it wastes Mahershala Ali. Ali plays the films antagonist Vector whose main weapon is monologues. Ali is one of my favourite actors in Hollywood. I was so excited to see him play an out and out villain. To see him relegated to the kind of villain who does nothing, but talk should be illegal. To have a cast of this pedigree and waste them is a real shame.

Keenan Johnson plays the love interest Hugo. The trailers made me worried that Hugo would be the worst part of the film. Hugo is not an awful character. Hugo’s arc is what is so wrong with the character, His romance with Alita is the weakest storyline in the film. Johnson is charming in the first act when we first meet him. The more the film becomes invested in Hugo and Alita’s relationship. The more you realise that you may be watching on of the worst on screen romances in recent years. Whenever Hugo and Alita are on screen together you will want to rip your ears off. Their flirting in the film is a tonal disaster. The script was written by Cameron, Laeta Kalogridis and Robert Rodriguez. Besides maybe Jack and Rose in Titanic. None of these writers are known for creating memorable relationships. There is one scene between the two that is so painful you will be tempted to turn on the film. Don’t let the dismal romance ruin the film for you. Alita: Battle Angel features action which will blow your socks off.

Despite its formulaic plot and disappointing performances. Alita needs to be seen in cinema in the biggest screen possible. The special effects used in the film are second to none. Iron City is brought to life through a unique colour palette which pulls you in. The characters all tell a story-based solely off their design. Iron City is populated by cyborgs whose appearance showcases their strengths in battle. You find yourself paying attention to henchman who in most films you wouldn’t bat an eyelid at.  Cameron felt that the world needed this world and the characters in it. Rodriguez does a great job at bringing the pages of the manga to life. Rodriguez brings his ballsy action background into the film. The action in Alita is tremendous. Like Aquaman, there seems to be a fight scene every 5-10 minutes. Whenever the film begins to dip into melodrama it is jolted back to life by a crazy sequence. The action is brutal for a PG13 film. Characters are killed off in gloriously violent ways. I jumped off my seat a few times after seeing Alita destroy a henchman. I get why people won’t like the film. I don’t get how your nit-picks aren’t evaporated when you see a game of Motorball. Iron Cities main sport is ludicrously violent. Did I understand the rules of it? No. But was it entertaining as hell? Absolutely. If we get an Alita sequel or not is up in the air. I need more Motorball in my life. Please give me more Motorball.

Alita: Battle Angel is well worth seeing. Narratively it’s all over the place and the supporting performances belong in a Sunday morning cartoon. Those complaints are overshadowed by the technical achievement that Cameron and Rodriguez have crafted. Salazar is a delight as the titular character. Without her the film would have crashed and burned as if it was in a game of Motorball. We will be seeing much more of her over the years. I don’t like saying this but ignore the plot. Sit back and witness a mind-boggling world. You haven’t seen anything like this before. Alita is essential to see in 3-D in IMAX. Sit back and take it all in.  I get why Cameron was determined to bring this to the screen. Maybe just maybe these Avatar sequels might also be worth the wait.

Liam’s Summary of Alita: Battle Angel.

Best Moment:  MOTORBALL. MOTORBALL.MOTORBALL.

Worst Moment: A metaphorical saying turned into an act of love made me want to leave the cinema.

Best Character: Alita is the Battle Angel for crying out loud.

Worst Character: Jorge Lendeborg Jr. has the same impact on Alita that he had on Love, Simon. Awful.

Watch this if you liked.

Avatar: A technical masterpiece which is still used to sell TV’s

Furious 7: Alita has Motorball. Furious 7 has skydiving cars.

Aquaman: The best worst film of all time.

Overall Rating: 3/5